Introduction to this hot guide.
So you decided to click on this guide? you're in for a treat...
So you want to be the BEST eh?
It's simple!, in this guide I will be introducing you to what seperates the good players from the bad, in a few short and detailed sections:
This guide will be t.h.i.c.c and it definately will be m.e.a.t.y, so sit back, grab a drink and enjoy a read.
Anything offensive, get over it, this is desgined to be taken lightly.
So you want to be the BEST eh?
It's simple!, in this guide I will be introducing you to what seperates the good players from the bad, in a few short and detailed sections:
- Mindset | Motivation & Idols
- Pre-game warmup | Pre-game drinks
- How to best utilise the WARM UP phase
- Optimal Guns | Tips and Tricks
- Best way to Kill.
- When to use Cars
- Picking Teammates (If you have friends)
- The circle, and how to abuse it
- Securing a solo win, no matter if you're in teams
- How to behave in a loss
- Bragging Rights.
This guide will be t.h.i.c.c and it definately will be m.e.a.t.y, so sit back, grab a drink and enjoy a read.
Anything offensive, get over it, this is desgined to be taken lightly.
Mindset! | Motivation & Idols
Gibberish from a site
Lately, I've been feeling extremely exhausted. Mainly physically exhausted, but also slightly mentally exhausted. Not that anything is wrong in particular, but there are times when we feel that we're not at our 100%. There are a few bar regulars that come into the restaurant I work in, and every time I see them, they never fail to make me laugh. They have such hilarious spirits and are always in a pretty good mood when they come in. Some of the bar tenders I work with love these guys as well and constantly crack jokes with them the entire time they're there. I believe that everyone should try their best to embody these guys' way of life: just be happy. It's easier said than done (obviously), but these guys are all between 60-75 and they just enjoy life. That's what we all must try to strive for; it's not necessarily about forcing yourself to be in good mood or anything, but just about being willing to change your mindset in order to better yourself.
^^^WRONG^^^
I spent a few moments of my life gathering some evidence in why a good mindset is so important, I didn't find anything I like so I will tell you why a healthy Mindset is so neccesary to succsex! A healthy mindset is that of never being happy, always knowing you could do better. A healthy mindset is one that is stressed, overly confused and eager to have more. This mindset is important for PUBG due to its stressing nature, constant observative skills required and the eager to play more.
What motivates you?
Good question, I dont know. For me it is personally that need for self fulfilment and the feeling of winning that I do not get much in my life, its sad, but its true! You may be the same, welcome!.
The feeling of motivation is the need to improve, to be better. You may like cockhero, and want to improve your lasting times, you may have weird fetishes that you like to keep hidden (thats a motivation). You may be wanting something (who knows). Motivation surrounds you.
If you don't have an Idol, thats your problem. I personally have my own Idol which I would rate as being one of the best possible, this man is a machine, works numerous jobs and has girls coming in from all angles. May i present to you, Johnnnnnnnny Sinnsssssssss
Why Johnny Sins though?
Hes an person we all want to be! succesful, ambitious and the ability to work any job we desire! Johnny Sins ambition to become the best person displays the highly healthy mindset he posses, he's never scared to try something new!
How does this relate to PUBG? and who is Johnny Sins?
This relates to PUBG, as Johnny Sins likes to go 'deep' and thats what you must do in PUBG, placement is key! If Jonny backed out, he wouldn't be enjoying the life he is now, same in PUBG, if you backout its probably going to cost you. I look to Johnny Sins and think, what would he do in my situation? Probably get all the ♥♥♥♥♥ camping in a house. If you haven't looked him up already, or somehow don't know. Hes a pornstar, I would link you a few noice vids, but I don't think i'd be allowed. Sadly.
^^^THE BEST, THE ONE AND ONLY!^^^
Lately, I've been feeling extremely exhausted. Mainly physically exhausted, but also slightly mentally exhausted. Not that anything is wrong in particular, but there are times when we feel that we're not at our 100%. There are a few bar regulars that come into the restaurant I work in, and every time I see them, they never fail to make me laugh. They have such hilarious spirits and are always in a pretty good mood when they come in. Some of the bar tenders I work with love these guys as well and constantly crack jokes with them the entire time they're there. I believe that everyone should try their best to embody these guys' way of life: just be happy. It's easier said than done (obviously), but these guys are all between 60-75 and they just enjoy life. That's what we all must try to strive for; it's not necessarily about forcing yourself to be in good mood or anything, but just about being willing to change your mindset in order to better yourself.
^^^WRONG^^^
I spent a few moments of my life gathering some evidence in why a good mindset is so important, I didn't find anything I like so I will tell you why a healthy Mindset is so neccesary to succsex! A healthy mindset is that of never being happy, always knowing you could do better. A healthy mindset is one that is stressed, overly confused and eager to have more. This mindset is important for PUBG due to its stressing nature, constant observative skills required and the eager to play more.
What motivates you?
Good question, I dont know. For me it is personally that need for self fulfilment and the feeling of winning that I do not get much in my life, its sad, but its true! You may be the same, welcome!.
The feeling of motivation is the need to improve, to be better. You may like cockhero, and want to improve your lasting times, you may have weird fetishes that you like to keep hidden (thats a motivation). You may be wanting something (who knows). Motivation surrounds you.
If you don't have an Idol, thats your problem. I personally have my own Idol which I would rate as being one of the best possible, this man is a machine, works numerous jobs and has girls coming in from all angles. May i present to you, Johnnnnnnnny Sinnsssssssss
Why Johnny Sins though?Hes an person we all want to be! succesful, ambitious and the ability to work any job we desire! Johnny Sins ambition to become the best person displays the highly healthy mindset he posses, he's never scared to try something new!
How does this relate to PUBG? and who is Johnny Sins?
This relates to PUBG, as Johnny Sins likes to go 'deep' and thats what you must do in PUBG, placement is key! If Jonny backed out, he wouldn't be enjoying the life he is now, same in PUBG, if you backout its probably going to cost you. I look to Johnny Sins and think, what would he do in my situation? Probably get all the ♥♥♥♥♥ camping in a house. If you haven't looked him up already, or somehow don't know. Hes a pornstar, I would link you a few noice vids, but I don't think i'd be allowed. Sadly.
^^^THE BEST, THE ONE AND ONLY!^^^
Pre-Game Warmup | Pre-Game Drinks.
So you need an idea for a Pre-Game Warmup?
Male? Fingers Cold *HAND*? yeah you know where I'm going, never fails to warm up mine!
Alright straight to business, Pre-Game warming up is ♥♥♥♥ing important, you need to be at your peak as soon as you cut that parachute. If you ain't in the mood, don't feel it in your hands. Your going to ♥♥♥♥ up real bad.
Some of the ways I believe are the best to warmup with,
Now onto the IMPORTANT ♥♥♥♥.
____________________________________________________________________________
Levi's Pre-Game drinks to help you become Good... GOD*
Hello guys and welcome to the most freshest and dankest Pre-Game drinks.
All have been personally tested to asure quality and safety (♥♥♥♥EN KIDDING) knock yourself dead and see if i care, this♥♥♥♥♥♥is bout to get REAL.
Are you ready to rekt some scrubs? needing that extra "PUSH" in you? ... these Pre-Game Levi approved drinks are where the ♥♥♥♥♥ happening aswell as where its at.
Please do not drink my drinks if you have ADHD as i do not know if you will be affected by this positively or negatively. this is basically ADHD and skitz in a glass, overdrive level.
____________________________________________________________________________
Drink 1: "Dont Stop Dah Jew"
This drink is optimized for players of the following characters but is not limited to the following.
- People that like to steal cars, etc.
Need a bit of push? THIS DRINKS FOR YOU!
Ingredients, Gets real sexy
- 1 Bag of Dorito's 50g or the family 200g size. (Flavour doesn't matter... feeling a bit cheesy go the supreme, Yellow = GPM... Red = Rampage... THINK ABOUT THIS WISELY.)
- 1 bottle of Mountain JEW 1.25L would be perfectly but can be varried.
- 1 Mother, 600mL (Packing the hit)
- 1 Minty (Keeps you fresh)
Steps
1) Admire your stash that you have collected and the marvellous drink you will make from it.
2) Find a blender or if your going really ballsy use a big bowl and use natures spoons to crunch dem chips.
3) Fill Blender with dorito's and Mountain JEW.
4) Blend till its a nice solid mush... we dont want any hard bits...(they don't go down well)
5) Find a big empty milk carton like 2L ez or like big juicy bottle idk.
6) Add Mother to this bottle
7) SHAKEKEKEKEKEKEKE
8) Add minty
9) Pour a glass and enjoy
CAUTION: Do not have before sleep.
____________________________________________________________________________
DRINK 2: TURN UP THE HEAT
This is a drink for people that are feeling really sexy and they want to show this through there character choice and moves. This drink packs a punch and is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat as you gulp down its sweetness.
Ingredients "Kinky♥♥♥♥♥♥quot;
- 1 UP&GO 600mL Vanilla (Not the super small version, the medium one... i think its 600mL)
- Chilli Flakes or the smallest Chilli's you can find. (The smaller the hotter = action)
- Iced Coffee Syrup 600mL (Bickfords is pretty good, makes like 60glasses...but were only making 1 BIG glass)
- 50mg of Icing Sugar
- 2L of the cheapest Milk (Homebrand its your time to shine)
-4L empty Jug
Steps:
1) Admire your ingredients and roughly the $14 you wasted on this drink but atleast it'll increase your chance of winning a chicken dinner.
Steps:
2) Pickup dat bigass 4L Jug or whatever you have around that size... Garbage bags work well.
3) Empty 2L milk into it.
4) Empty all of the coffee syrup and stir until it is the darkest brown you have ever seen and it stinks.
5) Add Icing sugar and stir
6) Pour UP&GO out for its secret ingredients.
7) Empty ALL chilli flakes or fincely dice each chilli (KEEPING ALL OF THE SEEDS)... place into Jug.
8) Pour yourself a drink and enjoy that slight burning sensation that fluxuates as it is cooled down with the milk.
___________________________________________________________________________
Drink 3: "That made me Stiff"
This is not a Pre-Game drink but instead should be drunk during prized moments to show your the alpha male.
This drink is intented for those moments that you make an amazing play like a 1v4 or a insane rampage clutch. It is always good to have some of this drink on the side if you are not a forever virgin and get ur♥♥♥♥♥♥wet once in a while and to also try and find another connection to your favourite pornstar through games.
Ingredients:
- 1 x printed colour photo of your favourite pornstar (please not Mia Khalifa and her roast beef kitty)
OR
- 1 x Viagra Pill (instant and lengthy stiffy to remind you of your amazing play)
OR both
- Refer to taco advertisment for the voice "why not have both?"
- 1 x 1.25L bottle of Mountain Jew (The red colour flavour, idk name)
- 1 x packet of those love heart candy
- 2 x Lemons
- 1 x Flower with alot of petals
Materials:
Blender
Cups
Milk Carton Container (empty)
Mortar and Pestle
Fruit Juicer
Steps:
1) Scrunch up your favourite photo of your favourite pornstar.
OR
1) Get your mortar and pestle out and grind that viagra pill into nice dust that you could snort.
2) Put it into the Blender.
3) Get your two lemons and juice them as much as possible.
4) Add your lemon juice to the blender.
5) Add Mountain Jew
6) Blend for roughly 20seconds, till there are no evident chunks of your pornstar.
7) Pour your new drink into a glass.
8) Grab your flower
9) Put the heart candies on a nice plate and take your Drink & Candy to your dungeon.
Male? Fingers Cold *HAND*? yeah you know where I'm going, never fails to warm up mine!
Alright straight to business, Pre-Game warming up is ♥♥♥♥ing important, you need to be at your peak as soon as you cut that parachute. If you ain't in the mood, don't feel it in your hands. Your going to ♥♥♥♥ up real bad.
Some of the ways I believe are the best to warmup with,
- Starcraft 2 | Games insane on the fingers, you'll have to be paying attention if you want to win, although not an aiming game, it requires extensive thought and warms you up for pubg aswell as warming up that trigger fingers and mouse moving.
- Move your mouse like a spastic across the table.
- CSGO, if you have CSGO, I definately recommend playing a single arms race before you play PUBG (If you really care about being GOOD)
Now onto the IMPORTANT ♥♥♥♥.
____________________________________________________________________________
Levi's Pre-Game drinks to help you become Good... GOD*
Hello guys and welcome to the most freshest and dankest Pre-Game drinks.
All have been personally tested to asure quality and safety (♥♥♥♥EN KIDDING) knock yourself dead and see if i care, this♥♥♥♥♥♥is bout to get REAL.
Are you ready to rekt some scrubs? needing that extra "PUSH" in you? ... these Pre-Game Levi approved drinks are where the ♥♥♥♥♥ happening aswell as where its at.
Please do not drink my drinks if you have ADHD as i do not know if you will be affected by this positively or negatively. this is basically ADHD and skitz in a glass, overdrive level.
____________________________________________________________________________
Drink 1: "Dont Stop Dah Jew"
This drink is optimized for players of the following characters but is not limited to the following.
- People that like to steal cars, etc.
Need a bit of push? THIS DRINKS FOR YOU!
Ingredients, Gets real sexy
- 1 Bag of Dorito's 50g or the family 200g size. (Flavour doesn't matter... feeling a bit cheesy go the supreme, Yellow = GPM... Red = Rampage... THINK ABOUT THIS WISELY.)
- 1 bottle of Mountain JEW 1.25L would be perfectly but can be varried.
- 1 Mother, 600mL (Packing the hit)
- 1 Minty (Keeps you fresh)
Steps
1) Admire your stash that you have collected and the marvellous drink you will make from it.
2) Find a blender or if your going really ballsy use a big bowl and use natures spoons to crunch dem chips.
3) Fill Blender with dorito's and Mountain JEW.
4) Blend till its a nice solid mush... we dont want any hard bits...(they don't go down well)
5) Find a big empty milk carton like 2L ez or like big juicy bottle idk.
6) Add Mother to this bottle
7) SHAKEKEKEKEKEKEKE
8) Add minty
9) Pour a glass and enjoy
CAUTION: Do not have before sleep.
____________________________________________________________________________
DRINK 2: TURN UP THE HEAT
This is a drink for people that are feeling really sexy and they want to show this through there character choice and moves. This drink packs a punch and is sure to keep you on the edge of your seat as you gulp down its sweetness.
Ingredients "Kinky♥♥♥♥♥♥quot;
- 1 UP&GO 600mL Vanilla (Not the super small version, the medium one... i think its 600mL)
- Chilli Flakes or the smallest Chilli's you can find. (The smaller the hotter = action)
- Iced Coffee Syrup 600mL (Bickfords is pretty good, makes like 60glasses...but were only making 1 BIG glass)
- 50mg of Icing Sugar
- 2L of the cheapest Milk (Homebrand its your time to shine)
-4L empty Jug
Steps:
1) Admire your ingredients and roughly the $14 you wasted on this drink but atleast it'll increase your chance of winning a chicken dinner.
Steps:
2) Pickup dat bigass 4L Jug or whatever you have around that size... Garbage bags work well.
3) Empty 2L milk into it.
4) Empty all of the coffee syrup and stir until it is the darkest brown you have ever seen and it stinks.
5) Add Icing sugar and stir
6) Pour UP&GO out for its secret ingredients.
7) Empty ALL chilli flakes or fincely dice each chilli (KEEPING ALL OF THE SEEDS)... place into Jug.
8) Pour yourself a drink and enjoy that slight burning sensation that fluxuates as it is cooled down with the milk.
___________________________________________________________________________
Drink 3: "That made me Stiff"
This is not a Pre-Game drink but instead should be drunk during prized moments to show your the alpha male.
This drink is intented for those moments that you make an amazing play like a 1v4 or a insane rampage clutch. It is always good to have some of this drink on the side if you are not a forever virgin and get ur♥♥♥♥♥♥wet once in a while and to also try and find another connection to your favourite pornstar through games.
Ingredients:
- 1 x printed colour photo of your favourite pornstar (please not Mia Khalifa and her roast beef kitty)
OR
- 1 x Viagra Pill (instant and lengthy stiffy to remind you of your amazing play)
OR both
- Refer to taco advertisment for the voice "why not have both?"
- 1 x 1.25L bottle of Mountain Jew (The red colour flavour, idk name)
- 1 x packet of those love heart candy
- 2 x Lemons
- 1 x Flower with alot of petals
Materials:
Blender
Cups
Milk Carton Container (empty)
Mortar and Pestle
Fruit Juicer
Steps:
1) Scrunch up your favourite photo of your favourite pornstar.
OR
1) Get your mortar and pestle out and grind that viagra pill into nice dust that you could snort.
2) Put it into the Blender.
3) Get your two lemons and juice them as much as possible.
4) Add your lemon juice to the blender.
5) Add Mountain Jew
6) Blend for roughly 20seconds, till there are no evident chunks of your pornstar.
7) Pour your new drink into a glass.
8) Grab your flower
9) Put the heart candies on a nice plate and take your Drink & Candy to your dungeon.
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